Social Fitness: The Exercise We’re Forgetting
We exercise for our physical health. We walk, run, lift weights, count our steps and join gyms. Gosh, some of us even pay big bucks to be yelled at while doing burpees!
But when was the last time you exercised your social fitness?
Social fitness is the practice of intentionally building and maintaining the relationships that support us. Just like physical fitness, strong relationships need attention, effort and regular exercise.
The science of connection
The evidence is clear: the science of connection is real.
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the world’s longest-running studies of human life, has consistently found that the quality of our relationships is strongly associated with our health and happiness as we age.
In other words, connection isn’t simply something that feels good.
It’s good for us—good for our heart, blood vessels, brain and body.
We’re connected—but are we deeply connecting?
Here’s the paradox.
We have never had more ways to communicate. We can message someone across the world in seconds, have hundreds of online connections and carry our social networks around in our pockets.
Yet many of us are still experiencing loneliness and disconnection.
Social fitness asks us to think differently. Instead of assuming our relationships will look after themselves, what if we exercised them intentionally?
The good news is that you don’t need a social fitness membership—and there’s no Lycra or yelling required.
Small ways to exercise your social fitness
Social fitness can look like:
Calling someone instead of sending a text.
Inviting a friend for a walk.
Putting your phone away and really listening.
Checking in with someone who has gone quiet.
Getting to know your neighbour.
Joining a group, club or community.
Being of service and volunteering your time.
Telling someone what they mean to you.
These are the small reps of connection.
Done regularly, they strengthen our sense of belonging and remind us that relationships aren’t just something we have. They’re something we practise.
An idea I’m taking to TEDx
On 24 September 2026, I’ll be stepping onto the TEDxBurleigh Heads stage to share this idea: that perhaps we need to take our social fitness as seriously as our physical fitness.
It’s a message that has grown through my work as an educator, speaker and author of Love Lessons—and one I believe we need now more than ever.
Because a meaningful life isn’t only about how long we live.
It’s also about how deeply we connect while we’re here.
So, here’s my challenge:
Who could use one small rep of connection from you today?
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